A metaphorical one, I assure you.
The blog was devoid of content for a few weeks, before the ME update forced my hands, due to my being completely burnt out. For a responsibility, I was driven into writing simply too much too quickly on a piece based on a mediocre idea. It’s not on this site, because I’m simply not happy with it, despite the feedback that I received. It was a terribly rushed piece through and through, and the plot was poorly constructed, while being made to fit into a word limit that simply wasn’t made for it. I did finish it, and obtained what I needed, but I was completely out for a week or two.
Then I finally picked myself up and started doing chapter updates for my fictions again. I’ve long realised and fully taken responsibility for my own absolutely sporadic update schedules on all fronts, and hopefully my readers have gotten used to it. Even then, I was undeniably disappointed in myself with regard to time keeping. I understand fully well that pulling 3000 words periodic chapters is a bit unreasonable to expect from anyone, but I thought I was better than that. Turns out I wasn’t, shocker.
At times I start writing, and then sat back simply to realise what garbage I’ve just conjured up. It’s a difficult process for anyone, to having to tear their own work apart because it didn’t meet their own standard, despite likely being well-received regardless. This happened back when I was writing my novel as well, until I just gave up and had to push the rest through the door. I didn’t have enough energy to absolutely turn over every page anymore; and from my talks with other authors, it doesn’t seem very possible in this modern climate.
Truth is, I simply had to many other things to do. Life is busy, especially if you just couldn’t be happy with one, or two, or three hobbies to stay invested in. This isn’t to say that I’m special to any degree, simply pointing out a gap in my foresight (or perhaps simply lack thereof). It’s hard to truly put these feelings down to words, as I’m sitting here with only 400 of them, yet nothing else could possibly be said. It’s a good thing this site exists for me to vent.