The year 2013 is coming to a close. There’re a lot of wrap ups I have to do before then, but what better time to sit back and take a look at what has happened through out the entire yet than being bored out of my mind because the internet connection is being horribly throttled. The Year of the Snake is coming to an end as well, albeit a bit later. I can’t really appreciate its meaning though, just like I couldn’t for the last 19 years. So here is something that no one has been asking for and is made because I ran out of tea at the time: my recap of the year 2013.

First off, I have to preface that not a lot of things happened this year compared to 2012 in terms of world news that’s worth mentioning. Either that or the fact that my being in America has rendered all information gathering useless and the country is slowly assimilating me into its ignorant mess. One way or the other, I haven’t heard much. Thus, I’ll have to resort to Google analytic (or “trends” as the kids call it) to tell me just what people have been searching for all this year. This might include the entire world or just the U.S.A, I really can’t tell. Any more in-depth information is apparently above my pay grade.

1. Persons: This includes Paul Walker, Jia Khan, Cory Monteith, Paula Deen etc. One way or the other, as to why they got the world’s attention, I don’t know a lot of them. They probably died at some point during the year, at least that’s my first conclusion as to why they suddenly become relevant again. I don’t care about any of these people, and unfortunately cannot be arsed to comment. That’s not to say I don’t recognize some: George Zimmerman, representing the hilarious failure of the channels surrounding this case, portraying every thing wrong with mass media in a way that actually has nothing to do with the case at all. Then there’s Nelson Mandela, who I certainly have respect for; but as he hasn’t done very much in a while, I’m not particularly broken over his death, nor care enough to fake it. Edward Snowden, of course, was a rather curious case. He’s single-handedly fuelled massive conspiracies over his revelations, and the internet stirred up quite a crowd over it. It was fun, he got my attention. Then there’s of course Miley Cirus, whose existence I’m only aware of because I was watching that show where she was a teenager a while ago and found her very attractive at the time. Before any of the pitchforks are raised, I was also a teenager, so that cancels out about everything you can possibly complain about, sorry. I sincerely hope I didn’t miss anyone, as these very important people would certainly not want to miss my recognition.

2. Entertainment: Ah yes, movies, books, music and art. Maybe not that last one. There has been plenty that got the buzz this year, and some which were simply pants. Anything to do with Disney & Pixar I can safely skip, as they haven’t gotten a decent showing for themselves for a long time now. Any Adam Sandler movie is automatically worthless, so that’s easy too I suppose. Django Unchained was a rather fun dumb movie, and therefore has my glowing recommendation. Superheroes movies were as disappointing as ever. I still have no idea what Sharknado is. Tarzan was a decent, until I realize it wasn’t a parody. Orange is the New Black was a hilariously awesome show. Too bad I spent 2013 watching non-2013 movies, so maybe I’ve missed something. Only one piece of literature that came out this year was particularly of note: “Zealot: The Life and Times of Jesus of Nazareth”, but it was a worthwhile read nonetheless. Harlem Shake was also apparently a thing, but it was just as bad as the last phenomenon so what the hell. Eminem’s new album was great, actually, which I didn’t expect at all. Gaga’s was… odd, even more than usual. It was so hit-or-miss I’m not entirely sure whether to be offended or perplexed. There was also an Imagine Dragons fad some time earlier this year, but it’s over now I think. The year was honestly so chopped into pieces when it comes to entertainment that my train of thought was equally wrecked. Don’t even get me started on paintings.

3. Events: A lot of things happened within the scope of America, because it’s really hard to try to be knowledgeable of other places when I’m here. There was the Government shutdown; a class act as it was. The Boston Marathon bombing, where people were confused at which group of people to blame at the start, which was really funny. There was the birth of the royal baby, because apparently people watch that. There was Typhoon Haiyan, which was apparently really bad and affected people that were really far away. As unsympathetic as that sounds, it was actually one of the few things I put money into, so take a walk if you don’t like how I say it. As if I could care less. A new Pope came into power, and spoken infallible words that were later taken back by the Church, so I leave that to your understanding. A military coup d’etat happened in Egypt some time in the summer, which was also apparently important. This cause I spent no money into, so feel free to let rip. Iran and the U.S agreed on something for once, which was great. The U.S also didn’t invade Syria, and thus dodged another bullet. I think that is about it. Times weren’t particularly interesting. There were also probably some mass shootings somewhere in America, and drones were also bombing some innocents somewhere in the Middle East, but at this point it’s a matter of course.

4. Sports & Television:


5. Technology: SnapChat is now a thing, making money off the innocence. That’s honestly extremely smart, all credits to them. The NSA is now the butt of every joke on the internet ever, but I still use Skype so I’d rather not step on any toes. Tesla is now moving forward with new developments, which is honestly a good thing. They have all of my applause, and eventually my money. Apple is still selling as any other year, so I won’t go any deeper into that depressing note. Google keeps fucking up YouTube, who would’ve thought? Microsoft released Windows 8.1, and I raged hard at it. I actually liked 8, so Blue was like a giant slap across the face. I suppose I shouldn’t have expected anything from Microsoft, considering what it has been doing recently. My anonymity on the internet is becoming increasingly harder to keep up, which is I guess never a good sign. 3D printing is slowly becoming a thing, but I have no idea if I knew where that is going. Bitcoin is apparently relevant now, wish I was more into it back then, but hindsight right? Non-commercial technology is continuously being held back here, of course, so I wouldn’t know much of it.

6. Social: Social media is becoming more relevant than ever. You have it. Your parents have it. Your children have it. Your dog has it. Hell, your frying pan might as well get one for all that’s worth. Kids also keep being bullied, and the technology is still abused for this, surprise surprise. Gay marriage is becoming more widespread, I suppose that’s a good proof we’re not living in the 18th century any more, except in Russia, but hey. Still, gay pride parades could burn for all I give. Feminism is riling up in the wrong-est (I know) of places, as per course of the last ten or so years. Nobody cares about the environment because money. Democracy is still as laughable as ever. Prostitution is apparently still illegal, so we’re even worse than 16th century China. There’s a war on Christmas going on actually, but I’m not sure I hate liberals as much because of it. Everyone is still as (in)sensitive and (in)tolerant as ever. The word “lifestyle” continues to be used unironically. People still care about celebrities. Education still manages to be stupidly easy and irrelevantly difficult at the same time. Americans went to war on healthcare, which I suppose make sense for them in a weird backwards sort of way. Marijuana is continuing to gather support, because it’s kind of hard not to support something like that. Netflix is becoming even stronger, as the decline of televised broadcast gets traction. People still want to deny the fact that they watch porn. A large portion of unemployed people are still just lazy and would rather complain about foreigners than work. The crown of obesity now goes to Mexico. Lastly, people still see abortion as a debate.

More of depressing facts, coming to you at 11.

7. Gaming: I make this one special, because I like it. The format of this post has already given organization to the wind, so what do I care. The Piss4 and XBone are now out, with no games on them. The Vita is continuing to be rejected, just like the Wii U. The 3DS has gained traction similar to that of rocket launchers, and are now decimating the handheld market. Mobile and facebook gaming is still a thing, coupled with consoles is why the industry is a load of crap at the moment.The HumbleBundle is the greatest thing that happened to consumer principles since GoG. GTA continues to be blamed for violence, because they make it easy for themselves to be scapegoats. Someone in Rockstar just revels in the idea, I’m sure. Crowd funding games as well as early access become more prevalent, and I still keep my wallet very tight. There are good ones, but few. Indie games are stronger than ever now that everyone has stopped trying to be Braid. CoD: Ghosts, new FFs, and BF4 might as well not exist. Telltale keeps on showing why they are bloody amazing. Gamers are exploding over YouTube. Steam are now actually being pressured to do things. LoL is still gigantic. The Ouya is a giant fluke. Video games are now reaching new heights of art, design, story telling, mechanics, music and plot. Too bad none does everything great at once, but it’s all right. Blizzard is now starting to do all the right moves, with Hearthstone, the new WoW expansion, the Diablo 3 expansion, and 2 HoTSs this year. AAA games continue to disappoint on a large scale. Everyone rushes to do a top 10 list thinking they’re relevant (even MTV, yes). The VGX was absolutely pants as expected. Microsoft delivers great fee to pay experience. Everyone jizzes over Bioshock Infinite for a while, then come around to hating it. Everyone is still jizzing on the Last of Us though, so maybe there’s something to that. Gone Home was dreadful, unlike what the reviewers like to tell you. Metacritic proceeds to be relevant for big publishers and useless to gamers as ever. Japan keeps making games, bless their sodding souls. Some chavs are still crying that PC gaming is dying, and more.

Actually, there is nothing else. That’s about all that really happened in the world during 2013. I must admit my grammar was dreadful, but I just can’t be arsed to fix it.

Happy New Year.

Picture taken from Chinese New Year|Celebration


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